Keating, MA, CT O’Connor Mortuary

As hope begins to flicker in with vaccinations and re-openings, I feel the great temptation to forget all that we’ve been through this last year and move into the excitement of our “old” life.

But – we’ve all been changed dramatically by the pandemic. I know that there are parts of the depression, confusion, isolation and anger I experienced that taught me things.

I think the most stand-out experience of COVID has been the strange, shared depression. Never before have I experienced darkness where there was no one to lift it. It’s not that I didn’t have support, it’s that there was no one not going through what I was going through. The balance of suffering and joy was non-existent.

As we re-enter the bright territory of hope, here’s what I want to hold on to from the dark:

• Doing things differently – I don’t think any of us enjoyed the changes we’ve experienced. I HATE not seeing people’s faces – I just miss seeing smiles and understanding people when they speak to me (right!?). But experiencing changes and adapting to a new way of living is a powerful process. This has ended up in my trying many new things and making a regular pattern in my life to bring more “new” into my life.
• Being present – I had to slow down, get creative, and I found that I had time to really be with the people I live with. I am deeply grateful for this and never want to lose this gift.
• Noticing myself – I learned quickly that I had good and bad COVID days. There was a lot of time for reflection and noticing. Realizing what I struggled with, what helped, and how I chose to cope was enlightening.
• More global thinking – Watching the world go through this brought a type of connection that I only ever feel during the Olympics. But this has been different. Being together in tragedy has broadened my empathy and grown my consideration for my fellow-people.

There’s more, I’m sure – but I am very ready to focus on looking forward. But it’s important to make something meaningful out of all of this pain.

What this whole post actually is, is my attempt to “make meaning” out of this disaster of a year. We all need to do this as we grieve – it is natural and helpful.

So – how have you made meaning out of 2020 and COVID? What lessons will you keep with you – how did last year change you for the better?

O’Connor Mortuary
25301 Alicia Parkway
Laguna Hills, CA 92653
(949) 581-4300
www.oconnormortuary.com

--- May is Melanoma Awareness Month: Prioritize a Skin Exam with Your Dermatologist ---

You eat well, get lots of exercise and try to obtain at least eight hours of sleep a night — you’re doing everything right to maintain a healthy lifestyle. But when was the last time you had a skin exam?

The skin is the largest organ in the body and plays an extremely important role in our overall health and well-being. It serves as a barrier that protects the body from external stimuli, trauma and dangerous substances, it helps regulate the body’s temperature and is integral in balancing the body’s water. The skin is a warrior fighting on the outside to protect our insides — and it can also provide helpful clues about other issues the body may be experiencing, like stress or inflammation. For all these reasons, it is very important to take care of your skin — and not just the skin on your face! Regularly looking at the health of your skin and proactively monitoring for changes or abnormalities is a smart way to help ensure you’re identifying anything suspicious that may indicate a larger health concern.

One of the most serious skin conditions that is often overlooked is melanoma. Melanoma is a type of skin cancer that starts in melanocytes, the cells that produce melanin. Melanin is the pigment that gives skin its color. Melanoma can occur anywhere on the skin surface from the scalp to the soles of the feet. It occurs in areas that are easily seen on self-examination but can also occur in areas that are impossible to see without the help of a partner.

Melanoma, when identified early, has a 99 percent survival rate.[1] This number drops to 27[KG1] percent if it spreads to other parts of the body.1 It is considered the deadliest form of skin cancer, and unfortunately, numbers are increasing worldwide.[2]

While the exact cause of melanoma is still unknown, several risk factors have been identified — notably, exposure to UV rays, either via sunlight or tanning beds. Other risk factors may include family history, genetics and skin type.2Although people with any skin color can develop melanoma, individuals with lighter skin tones, red hair or those who’ve had several severe sunburns in their lifetime may be at increased risk. Additionally, people who have a large number of moles on their body and/or those who have a family history of skin cancer may also be more likely to develop melanoma.[3]

Most of us wear sunscreen on our face, neck and arms when we know we’ll be in the sun for extended periods of time. But I’ve found melanoma in areas that have never seen the sun (think: below the belt), and these are often places overlooked by most people. While some of these “hiding places” are common for melanoma, these are often areas of the body that can be very difficult to catch during a self-exam. When I was in medical school, my institution embarked on an educational campaign to inform beauty school students about skin cancer and what to look for. Often, melanomas or other skin cancers hide on your scalp or behind your ears — areas most people don’t think to apply sunscreen to or to check for abnormal spots or moles.

If you’ve identified an area of the skin that looks suspicious, your doctor may recommend a surgical biopsy. This is the standard method for detecting melanoma and involves the removal of part of the lesion for testing. Unfortunately, biopsies require local anesthesia, which means an injection. Many people find these injections uncomfortable, and the biopsy itself may sometimes lead to a wound and, potentially, a permanent scar. In a study from 2018, over 90% percent of biopsies to diagnose melanoma actually tested negative for melanoma![4] While it’s smart to be thorough, that’s a lot of cutting.

Fortunately, there’s an innovative, non-invasive tool for detecting melanoma that is currently available by a California-based company — DermTech. The DermTech test uses a clear sticker to collect skin tissue samples. This “Smart Sticker™” painlessly and non-invasively removes the most superficial layers of skin to obtain genomic material. This genomic material is tested by DermTech to look for biomarkers correlated with melanoma, which help your doctor diagnose your lesion. The Smart Sticker is able to pull cells from the whole lesion by painlessly lifting away the outermost layer of cells from the surface. For context, a biopsy, which takes a small portion of the lesion, typically evaluates approximately 1-2 percent of a lesion.[5]

The DermTech test helps to determine which skin lesions have the biomarkers correlated with a pathologic diagnosis of melanoma. If the test is negative, a biopsy isn’t required, but you and your doctor should continue to monitor for any changes. If the test is positive, your doctor will perform a biopsy to establish the diagnosis.

The DermTech test is a new, effective option for detecting genomic markers to help clinicians assess melanoma with genomic precision — but maintaining healthy skin starts with you. You can’t test an abnormal lesion on your body if you don’t know it’s there! I typically recommend an annual skin exam for most people. If an individual has undergone previous biopsies, has a family history of melanoma, or has other risk factors associated with skin cancer, a doctor may recommend more frequent visits.

Melanoma can have devastating consequences if not caught early. This Melanoma Awareness Month, make it a priority to see a doctor, encourage your friends and family to stay current on their skin exams, protect your skin from the sun by wearing sunscreen and other protective gear when outdoors, and avoid direct sunlight during midday hours.

This article was composed in partnership with DermTech.

Fleming Dermatology
& Aesthetic Center
23141 Moulton Parkway, Suite 110
Laguna Hills
(949) 916-5956
www.flemingderm.com

[1] Skin Cancer Foundation. “Skin Cancer Facts and Statistics.” 2021, https://www.skincancer.org/skin-cancer-information/skin-cancer-facts/.
[2] American Skin Association. “Melanoma.” 2020, https://www.americanskin.org/resource/melanoma.php.
[3] Mayo Clinic. Melanoma: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/melanoma/symptoms-causes/syc-20374884.
[4] Lott JP et al. Population-Based Analysis of Histologically Confirmed Melanocytic Proliferations Using Natural Language Processing. JAMA Dermatol. 2018 Jan 1;154(1):24-29.
[5] Dermatology Online Journal. https://s7xkb1ayo481q3m2c10fqdqr-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/DOJ201912moFerris.pdf.
[KG1] Change “25” to “27” per reference listed: Bullet 8 listed under “Melanoma” section.

The largest single contribution to City of Hope Orange County establishes Lennar Foundation Cancer Center

World-renowned cancer research and treatment center City of Hope Orange County has received a $50 million gift from Lennar Foundation, the charitable arm of homebuilder Lennar Corporation.

This transformational gift of hope is the largest single philanthropic contribution to City of Hope Orange County. It will expedite the health care organization’s bold plans to invest $1 billion to develop and operate a comprehensive cancer campus in Irvine, California, and establish an Orange County network of advanced cancer care and research that will speed groundbreaking treatments directly to a community with growing needs.

The future 190,000-square-foot Lennar Foundation Cancer Center at City of Hope Orange County will be located on 11 acres at Five Point’s Great Park in the heart of Irvine. It will bring best-in-class cancer care, pioneering research and lifesaving treatments to the county’s 3.2 million residents. Construction is already underway on the comprehensive cancer center, which will open in 2022. In addition, Orange County’s only hospital dedicated exclusively to treating and curing cancer will open at City of Hope Irvine in 2025.

“This generous gift of hope is a historic moment for City of Hope,” said Annette M. Walker, president, City of Hope Orange County. “Thank you to Lennar Foundation, which is united in our vision and understands the urgency of our work, helping us ensure that our promise to Orange County will be fulfilled. We are building a place of hope and healing that will serve residents of Orange County and beyond for generations to come.”

City of Hope’s presence in Orange County offers local access to City of Hope’s National Cancer Institute-designated comprehensive cancer center with world-renowned cancer physicians and researchers who are singularly focused on finding better treatments and cures.

Lennar Foundation Cancer Center at City of Hope Orange County will bring to the region a host of distinguishing services, including, local access to more than 1,000 physicians and researchers who are transforming laboratory breakthroughs into targeted treatments that offer the best hope for patients, access to hundreds of clinical trials that make 21st century treatments available to cancer patients meeting clinical criteria soon after they are developed, a range of treatment options and new ways for preventing and treating cancer in its early stages.

“City of Hope saved my life,” said grateful Orange County patient Nicole Petersen Murr. “My family and I will be forever indebted to my doctor and care team. Anyone who has heard the words ‘You have cancer’ knows how those words change your life and affect every piece of it. I want everyone who hears those words to have the same compassionate care and access to the latest treatments that I had. Having City of Hope in Orange County changes everything for cancer patients — present and future. I’m so grateful to have this world-renowned care in my own community.”

As the country emerges from the COVID-19 pandemic, Lennar Foundation’s extraordinary contribution underscores the importance of investing in local health care resources and increasing access to leading-edge care. For Orange County, it is a reminder that cancer does not stop, and that City of Hope’s mission is more important than ever.

Lennar has a long history in Orange County of developing thriving communities, including helping form the vision for a world-class recreation and lifestyle destination. This gift is an extension of this longstanding commitment to improving lives in the regions Lennar helps shape. A portion of the gift to City of Hope is designated to support clinical translational research between City of Hope and the Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center of the University of Miami, thus uniting two organizations supported by Lennar’s generosity who share similar goals in developing new treatments and cures for patients with cancer.

“Anyone who has heard the words ‘You have cancer’ knows how those words change your life ... I want everyone who hears those words to have the same compassionate care and access to the latest treatments that I had. Having City of Hope in Orange County changes everything for cancer patients — present and future.” - Nicole Petersen Murr

Lennar Foundation’s gift to City of Hope is a generous continuation of Lennar’s longstanding support of the comprehensive cancer center. Jon Jaffe, co-chief executive officer and co-president of Lennar Corporation, is a member of City of Hope’s Construction Industries Alliance Leadership Advisory Council, which raises funds for cancer treatment and research. In recognition of his contributions, Jaffe was awarded City of Hope’s highest honor — The Spirit of Life® Award in 2004.

“City of Hope is a leader in the treatment of and race to find a cure for cancer and it’s gratifying to know that, with this gift, we will make a positive impact by expanding access to care and advancing the research that will treat, prevent and ultimately eliminate cancer — we hope this contribution will encourage other philanthropic leaders to support City of Hope in the fight against cancer,” Jaffe said.

City of Hope Newport Beach, the first phase of City of Hope Orange County’s expansion, opened in early 2020, providing Orange County residents first-time local access to world-renowned physicians backed by the powerful City of Hope network. City of Hope plans to open other clinical network locations across the region.

To make an appointment at City of Hope Newport Beach, call (949) 763-2204. For more information on the progress of City of Hope’s Orange County expansion, please visit CityofHope.org/OC.

If you are living with cancer, it’s understandable to be concerned about the COVID-19 pandemic. Here, Edward Kim, M.D., M.B.A, Physician-in-Chief, City of Hope Orange County, answers common questions and offers advice for these uncommon times.

What are the risks for people with cancer during the pandemic?

COVID-19 presents a greater risk to people living with cancer because many have weakened immune systems. This situation is heightened when receiving treatments impacting the immune response, such as chemotherapy, immunotherapy and antibody therapies, radiotherapy, and bone marrow or stem cell treatments. We have also found that people with certain blood or bone marrow cancers may be at elevated risk.

It’s important for everyone to stay vigilant but it’s particularly vital for people with underlying health conditions such as cancer or diabetes. Of course, you shouldn’t delay cancer treatment if you have received a cancer diagnosis. Our advice is to stay vigilant, talk with your doctor, and always adhere to current guidelines for COVID-19 prevention.

Should I keep my appointments if I am undergoing cancer treatment?

It’s very important to continue treatment. Patients whose care teams take rigorous precautions to safeguard against COVID-19 will be best served by proceeding with their cancer therapy, in keeping with their physician’s guidance. At City of Hope, our decades of institutional expertise in caring for immunocompromised cancer makes us one of the most prepared organizations in the country to help patients through the pandemic. Our extensive safeguards include:

• Expanded use of telemedicine, allowing patients to see a physician from the comfort of home
• A no-visitor policy to enhance safety and reduce the number of people in the office
• Pre-entry temperature checks
• Medical-grade masks worn by all
• Physically distanced waiting rooms and infusion bays
• Frequent and meticulous sanitizing of all areas of the facility
• Hand sanitizing stations located throughout the building

What about the COVID-19 vaccine?

We are greatly encouraged by the expanding vaccine access and the protection it will provide to our patients, staff and community. Ideally, most cancer patients should get vaccinated when they have the opportunity but patients should discuss the risks and benefits of getting the vaccine with their oncologists. Each patient’s situation is unique. The precautions are similar to what we tell patients before getting their annual flu shots. You can take the vaccine if you don’t have a history of severe allergic reactions to any of its components. Your doctor can help you determine if your health history indicates any potential concerns. It’s also important to remember that everyone needs to follow social distancing and other COVID-19 precautions.

I heard that City of Hope is also involved in developing a cancer vaccine. Can you tell us more?

Our vast experience in studying the immune system’s response to viral infections in cancer patients has led to exciting vaccine research. The vaccine known as COH0451 is currently in Phase I clinical trial and has produced strong immunity in preclinical research. It is freeze-dried, which would eliminate the challenges of keeping the vaccine cold. We are very hopeful about this breakthrough and will have more updates on our progress. It’s just one example of the range of our research and the far-reaching impact of our work.

Why is City of Hope Orange County considered an exceptional place for cancer care?

We are a world-class cancer research and treatment center speeding lifesaving breakthroughs to our patients. That means we deliver to local residents the latest and most effective treatments —some of which were never before available in Orange County. We are an exceptional choice in any situation, but especially now, when we can offer highly specialized expertise in navigating cancer during this pandemic. The reassuring words we always tell patients seem very relevant during these times: When you have cancer, we’ll hold your hand and never let go.

Discover safe and expert cancer care at City of Hope Newport Beach. Please call (949) 763-2204 to make an appointment.

As the real estate industry continues to adapt to changes in the market, alternative methods of buying and selling homes are becoming more prevalent. Hiring an agent to list on the MLS is no longer the only way to sell a property, as “off-market selling” is becoming a real option for homeowners seeking a faster, more streamlined, and ‘safe’ sale.

The benefits of an off-market home sale include the convenience of not having to prepare the home for sale, no repair costs to the seller because the home is sold ‘as-is’, no failed escrows/shorter close, all cash/no financing offer, and little to no physical contact with buyers or others for showings or inspections. An off-market sale can also help eliminate the very real health risks and exposure concerns involved in a traditional listing.

Off-market buyers are typically smaller “mom and pop” investors looking for homes to either “fix and flip” or rent out, or more institutional iBuyers (instant Buyers) who make offers on homes online. Unlike the traditional process, these buyers purchase homes As-Is, directly from homeowners. The off-market buyer offers a lower price than the seller may be able to net with a listed sale but allows the seller to avoid the inconvenience and investment of time and money for repairs/prep costs, since the buyer is purchasing the property in ‘as-is’ condition.

With these alternative options now available, it is crucial for any home seller considering such a sale to understand how to navigate through the off-market process. An off-market buyer should clearly outline their process, answer any seller questions, and provide transparency throughout the transaction. Unwillingness of an off-market buyer to provide information about closing timeframes, proof of funds, contingencies, contracts, and other details, should be a red flag warning to a home seller.

Senior Home Purchase Program, based in San Diego since 2015, is a real estate investment company with a unique, niche service offering senior homeowners a transparent, streamlined, and guaranteed way to sell their home off-market. Siblings Rob Perkins and Corinne Ross created SHPP after a decade in real estate investing, and after experiencing the challenges involved in helping grandparents move. SHPP purchases homes directly from seniors transitioning into senior living communities, and “guarantees a certain sale, at a certain price.”

SHPP purchases the home in its current condition, allows the seller to leave behind clutter and unwanted furniture, and covers 100 percent of any costs associated with the sale. “In addition to saving the homeowner an incredible amount of time, and greatly reducing their stress, SHPP offers the best price possible to our senior home selling clients. We are transparent in illustrating how an SHPP offer differs from a traditional offer,” explains Perkins. “With no hidden costs or fees, our off-market offer is very compelling to the homeowner.”

“SHPP also provides a flexible timeline for moving,” adds Ross. “Our seniors are often in a position where they don’t know the exact date of their move into a community,” she shared. “This can be very stressful, so we provide flexibility with closing dates, as well as a leaseback option if needed.”

Transparency, integrity, and client comfort level are top priorities for SHPP. “Most of our customers are referrals, so the trust factor is big for us,” Ross explains.  A former client shared, “Their honesty, transparency, and diligence made me feel completely comfortable with them. The process was exceptionally easy and stress-free.”

Perkins and Ross emphasize another benefit to sellers: “SHPP’s process can alleviate many of the concerns and stresses of selling that have arisen during the pandemic. Our goal is to offer a certain, safe, and stress-free solution to our clients during this very uncertain time, and we are thrilled to now be servicing Orange County, as well as other areas, as we continue to expand to help our senior customers.”

Donna Hunnicutt,
Market Manager OC
(714) 923-7477
westviewSHPP.com

By Becky Lomaka, MA, CT
Director of Grief Support and Education O’Connor Mortuary

There are few periods that are as difficult for those who are grieving than the holidays, starting with Thanksgiving and culminating with the New Year.

Here are a few tips to not just cope with your grief during the holidays, but to engage in your grief and grow in it.

Admit the holidays are hard

Holidays are hard under the best of circumstances. We tend to eat more poorly, over-commit to activities, and struggle with meeting all the expectations we think others have. But when you’re grieving, what is normally manageable can become overwhelming. The beginning point is acknowledging that you can’t do everything and be everything that everybody expects.

Make your plans and check them twice

Give yourself the gift of anticipation. Determine where the most difficulties will lie. Mark down on your calendar which days are going to be most difficult for you. Just pinpointing those days helps suck the wind out of them. Renegotiate the rules – maybe pass the torch of hosting the meal. Take an active role in deciding how the day will go.

Consider the cost of withdrawal

Move toward people and not away. You might feel like avoiding people and putting limits on your socializing is surely a good idea. But be careful about avoiding others all together; the cost of withdrawal is high. Instead of always avoiding people, explain what you need and work to do some things others want just because you are in relationship with them.

Create something new

One thing that makes the holidays so hard is that at every turn we are reminded that what used to be is no longer. Holidays are steeped in tradition; use this time to create something new. New rituals, observances, or routines help you mark this new chapter of life. Donate to a cause, volunteer, use your talents to help someone else. Use symbols and ritual; light a candle, tell stories, make a favorite meal. In addition to traditional holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, anniversaries and other special days can be extremely hard. Creating rituals around these days can be comforting.

Contemplate your spiritual roots

Grief is a spiritual experience and the holidays have roots in who we are spiritually. Recapture that in your grief. Worship, reading, prayer or meditation might help you restore balance during the holiday season.

Take good care of your physical well-being

This can be especially hard during the holidays, yet it is incredibly important. Eat well – make sure your nutrition is healthy in content and avoid or limit caffeine, alcohol and processed sugars. Exercise – walk, play a sport, work out; move your body every day. Rest – remember your body knows what it needs. If you’re eating right and exercising appropriately, you might just find the sleep takes care of itself.

Reach out for assistance

The vast majority of us eventually do fine with our grief. If you are feeling stuck, reach out for support. Grief support groups are available throughout Orange County and online.

Our grief is never finished. Holidays and special days may bring a tinge of grief and sadness forever. Reframe your thoughts to see this as powerful and cherished gifts. Remember to “make a list and check it twice” – planning and preparing for these difficult days helps ease the anxiety associated with them. It’s ok to do what YOU want and not what you think you SHOULD do. Rather than avoiding grief, pursue an open relationship with it. Too often we set up strict structures for ourselves to feel control, to convince ourselves that “this is the way grief gets done,” and we miss the beautiful fluidity of moments and memories that burst up and surprise us with the pain and shimmer of past joy.

O’Connor Mortuary
25301 Alicia Parkway
Laguna Hills, CA 92653
(949) 581-4300
www.oconnormortuary.com

Infinity Medical and Wellness offers a tremendously successful treatment option - FDA Cleared and Covered by Medicare and Most Major Medical Insurances

Are you or a loved one suffering from chronic pain caused by peripheral neuropathy? Do you experience pain, numbness, burning, tingling, or tightness in your hands and feet? Have you tried multiple therapies and medications (i.e. Gabapentin, Cymbalta, Lyrica and Neurontin) only to experience side effects and with little to no relief?

Would you like to try a natural treatment that is covered by insurance?

Call us to find out if you are covered. Most of our patients pay little to nothing and see a decrease in pain in only a few treatments.

We use a cutting-edge electrical cell signaling device called “Sanexas” to increase blood flow and nutrient delivery to sites of pain. This helps give the nerve cells the nutrients they need to get you out of pain and remain healthy.

Depending on your coverage, YOUR TREATMENT COULD BE LITTLE TO NO COST TO YOU. The amount of treatment needed to allow the nerves to recover sufficiently varies from person to person and can only be determined after a detailed physical exam.

Call to make an appointment to determine if your chronic pain and peripheral neuropathy can be successfully treated.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER ANOTHER MINUTE. CALL NOW!

We are extremely busy. If your call goes into voicemail, please leave a message. We will call you back ASAP.

Infinity Medical and Wellness
25301 Cabot Road, Suite 103
Laguna Hills
(949) 751-1007
InfinityMedicalandWellness.com

As the real estate industry continues to adapt to changes in the market, alternative methods of buying and selling homes are becoming more prevalent. Hiring an agent to list on the MLS is no longer the only way to sell a property, as “off-market selling” is becoming a real option for homeowners seeking a faster, more streamlined, and ‘safe’ sale.

The benefits of an off-market home sale include the convenience of not having to prepare the home for sale, no repair costs to the seller because the home is sold ‘as-is’, no failed escrows/shorter close, all cash/no financing offer, and little to no physical contact with buyers or others for showings or inspections. An off-market sale can also help eliminate the very real health risks and exposure concerns involved in a traditional listing.

Off-market buyers are typically smaller “mom and pop” investors looking for homes to either “fix and flip” or rent out, or more institutional iBuyers (instant Buyers) who make offers on homes online. Unlike the traditional process, these buyers purchase homes As-Is, directly from homeowners. The off-market buyer offers a lower price than the seller may be able to net with a listed sale but allows the seller to avoid the inconvenience and investment of time and money for repairs/prep costs, since the buyer is purchasing the property in ‘as-is’ condition.

With these alternative options now available, it is crucial for any home seller considering such a sale to understand how to navigate through the off-market process. An off-market buyer should clearly outline their process, answer any seller questions, and provide transparency throughout the transaction. Unwillingness of an off-market buyer to provide information about closing timeframes, proof of funds, contingencies, contracts, and other details, should be a red flag warning to a home seller.

Senior Home Purchase Program, based in San Diego since 2015, is a real estate investment company with a unique, niche service offering senior homeowners a transparent, streamlined, and guaranteed way to sell their home off-market. Siblings Rob Perkins and Corinne Ross created SHPP after a decade in real estate investing, and after experiencing the challenges involved in helping grandparents move. SHPP purchases homes directly from seniors transitioning into senior living communities, and “guarantees a certain sale, at a certain price.”

SHPP purchases the home in its current condition, allows the seller to leave behind clutter and unwanted furniture, and covers 100 percent of any costs associated with the sale. “In addition to saving the homeowner an incredible amount of time, and greatly reducing their stress, SHPP offers the best price possible to our senior home selling clients. We are transparent in illustrating how an SHPP offer differs from a traditional offer,” explains Perkins. “With no hidden costs or fees, our off-market offer is very compelling to the homeowner.”

“SHPP also provides a flexible timeline for moving,” adds Ross. “Our seniors are often in a position where they don’t know the exact date of their move into a community,” she shared. “This can be very stressful, so we provide flexibility with closing dates, as well as a leaseback option if needed.”

Transparency, integrity, and client comfort level are top priorities for SHPP. “Most of our customers are referrals, so the trust factor is big for us,” Ross explains.  A former client shared, “Their honesty, transparency, and diligence made me feel completely comfortable with them. The process was exceptionally easy and stress-free.”

Perkins and Ross emphasize another benefit to sellers: “SHPP’s process can alleviate many of the concerns and stresses of selling that have arisen during the pandemic. Our goal is to offer a certain, safe, and stress-free solution to our clients during this very uncertain time, and we are thrilled to now be servicing Orange County, as well as other areas, as we continue to expand to help our senior customers.”

Donna Hunnicutt,
Market Manager OC
(714) 923-7477
westviewSHPP.com

By Becky Lomaka, MA, CT
Director of Grief Support and Education O’Connor Mortuary

It’s been a rough few weeks since my last column. My family and I have experienced heartbreaking losses that have me in a tangled emotional overload.

In mid-August, a friend’s daughter was killed in an automobile accident, a beautiful life taken much too young. Just a few days later we found out our dear friend of twenty-five years had only a few weeks to live, the cancer we thought was gone from his body came back with a vengeance. He died over Labor Day weekend. On the same day we found out about our friend’s cancer coming back, I got the devastating news that my cousin’s three-year-old son has been diagnosed with Duchene Muscular Dystrophy, a rare and fatal disease will slowly rob him of his muscle function. Couple this is with the anniversary of my brother’s death seven years ago and the pain that surrounds this horrible date year after year since he has died. It’s made me ponder the thought that endings are not always happy, sometimes they are just plain hard.

Grief, no matter how recent or how long ago the loss, has a way of painfully flooding our entire being. I was talking with a friend whose daughter died 21 years ago; as the date of her death nears so does the resurgence of the raw and gut-wrenching grief my friend experienced in the early months after her daughter died. Then I think about my cousin and try to wrap my head around how she can even comprehend the diagnosis given to her sweet toddler and the bucket list that has suddenly filled her soul with what she needs her son experience while he can still walk, use his upper limbs, and breathe on his own, as this horrible disease slowly ravages his body.

Sometimes when we experience multiple losses within a short period of time, it can result in a fog that can be hard to find our way out of. In our grief, there are days with no silver linings; it’s about just making it through the day, loving those still with us and trying to find gratitude for time we had with those we love.

What if we chose not to avoid those days, those triggers, those moments and instead walked toward them...walked toward our grief and made space for it in our life rather than shutting it out? What if allowing ourselves to feel our grief actually helps lift us out of that fog and blur of pain?

Just the other day I had the privilege of listening to a young father eulogize his infant daughter who died at birth. He talked about the blessings his sweet baby brought to so many people; how he and his wife’s lives were changed forever in such a positive way. How this baby’s life story, as short as it was, was a gift. His words struck me. It’s okay to allow myself to withdraw, to turn inward and simply sit with my sadness and pain; by doing this I also create a space to let the world back in again.

Barbara Karnes, the American hospice pioneer and Registered Nurse, said it beautifully, “The present moment sounds easy, but, of course, it’s not. It takes lots of practice. If we can be more in the present moment, at ease with life as it unfolds, maybe our final act of living will be filled with more and better memories.”

Sometimes we need to let go and realize we are not in control. Life doesn’t always give us happy endings, yet we can make the most of the beginnings and the middles, cherishing those moments along the way.

O’Connor Mortuary
25301 Alicia Parkway
Laguna Hills, CA 92653
(949) 581-4300
www.oconnormortuary.com